Octoberfest 2008!

This weekend was the annual Octoberfest celebration in Appleton, WI, where the downtown portion of College Ave is closed down to allow for dozens of food and crafts vendors and music performers. I go every year and walk around, always in search of a good crunchy corndog, which they never freaking have! Good fair corndogs made with real corn bread must just be an Illinois thing I guess. I did see lots of WI foods, like cheese curds (the good ones squeak), cream puffs, and roasted corn. There was also a plethora of fried items, including the standard fried cheese curd, but also deep fried Snickers bars and deep fried Oreos (why anyone would deep fry these items I have no idea, but apparently Americans just aren't getting fat fast enough!). I am always impressed by the variety of international foods offered at Octoberfest; there were various African and Asian cuisines, homemade Mexican goodies, and foods that I can't even begin to pronounce, let alone tell you where they came from. My favourites tend to be the baked goods, since I have something of a sweet tooth (to put it lightly), so I always buy a bag of homemade "puppy chow" from a local girl scout group. That stuff is fantastic, oh my god...I also got some "loaded nachos" which were pretty tasty, if not a bit difficult to consume while pushing through 100,000+ people.

Speaking of pushing through people, holy crap was it crowded! I felt like a cow in a chute, moving along at a snail's pace, stuffed in with droves of other individuals. "Rubbing shoulders with the locals" doesn't quite cover it. I'm just glad I didn't get beer spilled on me this time. The beer stands are the worst offenders; people will "line up" in masses around the beer booths, effectively blocking all human herd traffic, forcing people to squeeze through pushing and shoving (and mooing, if you're still following that metaphor). My method, being small and all, is to get behind someone large and just let them pave the way for me. It works pretty well, unless the person whose tail I'm riding on happens to be one of those jerkfaces who stops in the middle of the street to talk to people. What gives! I have no idea what compels groups of individuals to stop in the middle of the road to talk, when it's obvious that people are having a hard enough time getting through, and when there are open sidewalks only a few meters away! But I digress...

Jerkfaces aside, you do see some interesting folks at Octoberfest. I saw one sexy goth chick who was like a hippo (as big around as she was long/tall), with a tiny black skirt on, gaudy make-up, and fish-net pantyhose with holes big enough to catch tuna. Her pale tree-trunk legs stuffed into those fish-nets reminded me of the big Christmas hams we get that have the netting over them. Scrumptious. Then I saw another hottie, an anorexic this time, with stringy dyed-black hair and a huge tattoo across the front of her neck. The tattoo was like a cross between a bowtie and a butterfly, and was all sorts of purples and greens and other trailer-trash-tattoo colours. This thing almost looked like a bruise. What would make one think it was a good idea to put such a ginormous tattoo on a part of the body known for wrinkling and sagging in old age?? I almost wanted to make friends with her just so I could see what that thing looks like when she's 80.

There were plenty of sexy guys there, too. One man had a loud bright red pair of slacks on with dirty white leather loafers. These pants were so loud that I can't recall what shirt he was wearing, but it was clear that he thought he was quite the stud. Another guy, whose teeth hadn't seen a brush since the 6th grade, was covered in tasteless tattoos of naked large-busted women and wearing a sleeveless shirt that said, "Nice tattoo, wanna fuck?" If that's not a bucket of class, I don't know what is. I'm going to venture to guess he's still single.

Along with all the freaks, there are some quality people at Octoberfest as well. I saw quite a few handicapped individuals being led around by their families, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I also saw a really cute gay couple with their tiny adopted infant; the guys were dressed like fashion models and totally doting on their baby, which one carried around in those front-side papooses that were all the rage at the Fest this year. Stuff like that makes me smile I guess. You can also get warm fuzzies when you buy food at Octoberfest, because proceeds from most of the stands do go to good causes, like animal shelters and cancer research and ornery small children.

The arts and crafts booths are usually pretty interesting; there tends to be something for everyone, and a lot of sand-filled cloth animals for some reason. I spent a lot of time at Barbara Radtke's painting booth; she does AWESOME work, and I wish I had the $800+ for her painting of a male kestrel eating a sparrow on a fencepost (read: if anyone feels like donating that to me...). I did end up purchasing one small painting for $45, which I think was the cheapest thing she had. I'm going to see if I can get her to do a piece on commission for Craighead Beringia South to use as a fundraiser auction item. Anyone who is into realistic bird paintings should look her up in WI sometime. I also love to see all the hand-turned wooden bowls that a few booths sell, even though I don't have the money to buy any of them. One booth was selling a bunch of cheap jewelry and low and behold, had a whole rack of the short wooden bead necklaces I adore yet break constantly. I purchased two, so we'll see how long they last.

I guess Octoberfest 2008 was a pretty good experience; I spent too much money, and ate too much food, but the weather was nice and I really enjoyed speaking with Barbara Radtke and her husband (though I regret not catching his name). I'm sorry I don't have photos to share with you; Canon currently has my camera for lens motor repairs, so you will all have to use your imagination.